How to rename your boat & satisfy the Sea Gods!

Explicit directions to 

This is part-two of a two part tale.

For part 1: The trouble with renaming your boat why we chose to rename our boat.

Directions for changing the boat's name:

First, you need to set aside around 4 hours for the entire affair but don’t schedule anything else for the balance of the day that involves driving, operating any sort of equipment or making financial decisions.  Invite friends, family and anyone else who may find themselves crewing on the subject vessel. Costumes are not mandatory, but remember, you’ll be calling on the gods for lots of favours and you don’t want to offend them in any way.

Second, select as your Exorcist someone associated with the boat but not the owners themselves (so they still have someone to blame, just in case…).  A flair for the dramatic is beneficial but more so are organizational skills to keep the process moving in an orderly manner as pressures escalate.  You’ll also need one individual for each of the 4 wind gods;  Boreas, Zephyrus, Eurus and Notus.  All of the above should be briefed and provided with the “essentials” for their roles although individual creativity should be encouraged.

Third you’ll need copious quantities of good Champagne, not the cheap stuff.  The gods have been around awhile and know champagne from plonk.  You’ll need enough for at least 10 toasts and several speeches.  Don’t run short!

Now the Exorcism:

1. Remove all items bearing the old name from the vessel: every key fob, log book, life ring and chart book. This is very important and should be done in advance.
2. With the ship’s bell, the owners should summon all souls present and interested in the well-being of the subject vessel to gather round and join in  “Exorcising” the name (OLD NAME).  Glasses should then be charged and the Exorcist introduced with an optional toast to his eminence.
3. The old name should be printed on a small symbolic boat and placed on the Barbeque. With due respect, the replica should be burned, the ashes placed in a metal container and send them down to Davey Jones locker with a toast to the fine name of (OLD NAME).

Exorcist’s speech:

“Oh mighty Neptune, great ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom we who venture upon  your vast domain are required to pay homage, we implore you in your graciousness to expunge the name (OLD NAME) which has ceased to be an entity in your Kingdom.  As proof thereof, we submit these remains bearing her name to be corrupted by your powers and  forever purged from the sea”.  Drop the remains into the sea. “In grateful acknowledgement of your munificence and dispensation, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court”.  Pour a generous splash of champagne into the sea from East to West.  Then all guests join in the toast (the gods hate drinking alone) “To Neptune”.

4)  Now the Captain gets to “suck-up” to Neptune with the new name and it is essential that he or she memorize this speech as sincerity is paramount with this Neptune.  Owner’s speech:  “Oh Neptune, great and mighty ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom all who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage.  We implore you in your graciousness to take unto your Book of Records and recollection this worthy vessel hereafter and for all time known as (NEW NAME), guarding her with your mighty arm and trident, ensuring her of safe and rapid passage throughout her journeys within your realm.  In appreciation of your munificence, dispensation and in honor of your greatness, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court”.  Pour another generous splash into the sea (East to West) for Neptune then a round for all present with the toast “To Neptune.”

5)  The “admiral” now calls on the gods of the winds (blowing of a conch is a nice touch here);  “Oh mighty rulers of the winds, through whose power our frail vessels traverse the wild and faceless deep, we implore you to grant this worthy vessel ( NEW NAME) the benefits and pleasures of your bounty, ensuring us of your gentle ministration according to our needs”.

1. a) Crew #1 (facing North): Great Boreas, exalted ruler of the North wind, grant us fair winds through your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us from the overwhelming scourge of your frigid breath”.   Fling a generous flute of champagne to the North then lead guests in a toast “To Boreas”.
2. b) Crew #2 (facing west): Great Zephyrus, exalted ruler of the West wind, grant us steady breezes through your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us from the overwhelming scourge of your wild breath”.   Fling a generous flute of champagne to the West then lead guests in a toast “To Zephyrus”.
3. c) Crew #3 (facing East): “Great Eurus, exalted ruler of the East wind, grant us fair winds through your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us from the overwhelming scourge of your Autumn Gales”.   Fling a generous flute of champagne to the East then lead guests in a toast “To Eurus”.
4. d) Crew #4 (facing South): “Great Notus, exalted ruler of the South wind, grant us warm breezes through your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us from the overwhelming scourge of your scalding breath and hurricanes”.  Fling a generous flute of champagne to the South then lead guests in a toast “To Notus”.

6) Power-boat Option for the Admiral: “Oh mighty and great ruler of the sun and skies, to whom all life and we who bask in your rays are required to pay homage.  We implore you in your graciousness to provide warmth and glowing radiance whilst we traverse your seas below.  In grateful acknowledgement of your magnificence we offer these libations to your majesty and your court”.   Fling a generous flute of champagne skyward (down-wind works best) from east to west then lead guests in a toast “To Helios”

7) The Exorcist now calls on all present in a toast (which may be as personal as appropriate) to the Captain, Admiral and the new vessel (NEW NAME) and an invitation to celebrate with the commemorative feast (because after all this toasting some food is pretty much mandatory).

So, that’s the exorcism and renaming of a vessel.  Does it work?  Well that ceremony was  held in 2010 and we have subsequently travelled over 70,000 Nautical Miles from Newfoundland to the Caribbean and through the Great Lakes safely and comfortably.  Oh we’ve had some storms and stuff still breaks from time to time.  But overall, I’d have to say that the gods have been smiling on us and that our friends and crew have been good to us too.  Most of all though, the boat has been good to us; so one more time, “Here’s to Sampatecho II.”

"tooooooooooooot"

We'd love to hear from you! Did you rename your boat? What was the old name? How did you choose the new one?